It hit me that I was trying too much,
I was dead to you,
I was begging too much,
I hadn’t realized that I meant nothing to you,
I always waited for you not realising you were never going to wait for me,
I always hoped you would notice when I’m not in my element,
but I should have known that I was not on your mind,
I am to blame.
I pushed you.
I pushed a little bit too hard.
I hate myself for not seeing these things
I hate myself for feeling all these things
but most of all,
I hate you for making me believe you cared.
Love yours, Y.
