It’s a chilly morning and I am seated at a restaurant drinking some amazingly disgusting coffee-it tasted like dry, rotten coffee beans - trying to beat a deadline.
My phone dings.
I ignore.
I know it might be another “could you please draft a proposal to ask Jesus how there are many rooms in his father’s house?” type of messages and I was not having it.
My phone dings again 20minutes later and I decide to just check what’s up.
“Morning! I feel like I am failing. I feel like I am losing grip and at times I want it to stop.”
And then,
“I am a failure. I need to win in life but I just cannot seem to catch a break. I am (an obscenity) tired!
I read the messages and put my phone down and continue typing. This was early in the morning and I wasn’t in the “I am here to help” mental space but a friend in need right?
GREAT!!
I text back..
“Hey! Could we meet later in the day to just talk about this?”
They text back..
“Yes sure!”
So we meet later and we talk and it’s a good conversation and they leave.
And that got me thinking!
Listen!
I am a late 20 something, soon to be 30, feeling-kinda-elderly, adulting, member of the feminine gender and a lot of things have happened over the years and I have learnt to appreciate things I wouldn’t have in my younger years.
We are all familiar with the phrase “a seat at my table” I am sure (and No, I am not talking about the Solange album). This phrase has been used so much and easily translates to, “I will let people with whom we complete each other, build each other, push each other, things that motivate me and make me feel better about myself.”
Most of us have our tables set and all the people/ things that have a seat on our table are all nice things, the friends that support you, positivity and all the nice “self-glorifying” things.
But!
There’s one thing that we never leave so much space for.
FAILURE
I know! I know! We never want to talk about failure in every sense of the word.
What we want to do instead, is to shield ourselves from the pain that comes with failure, the strong feeling of fear mixed with emotions and then uncertainty of whether you will get out of it.
So today let’s focus on Failure.
Failure is defined as “the lack of success”. Success is relative. What your definition of success is, is totally different from someone else’s definition.
And friends, I am here with an unpopular opinion (maybe)..
Failure is good. Failure is all you need to succeed and to learn. Our immediate thoughts on Failure as a motivator are limited and I just don’t appreciate that.
More often than not, you never want to talk about failure. You want to be the best in whatever you do. You want to be the best in every section in your life and at everything. But I am here to deliver some news from the ancestors and the higher power that I serve: “You will trip from time to time.” How you react to this ‘trip’, therein lies the differentiator in people’s success stories.
Fail early, fail forward, fail often…… successful people fail a lot. They fail a whole lot more than they succeed but they extract the lessons from the failure.~ Uncle Will Smith
Are you failing?
Guess what, you’re about to catch your big break. You’re about to write your success story and it’s going to be amazing. (This is the part you whisper a small “Amen” and then keep it moving)
Failure is a massive part of being able to be successful. Be comfortable with it. Embrace it. Love it.. take it all in and then once you’re down there learn your lesson and come back up.
The good thing about failure is that it gives people a chance to regroup and rewind the clock.
Regroup! Rewind and Repeat. Failing is natural, failing is part of the process.
See! what YOU are not going to do is call yourself a failure simply because you tripped and lost a few things. I read a quote that said “Failure is not a person. It is a moment.”
So, No! sir/Ma’am, you are not a failure.
You might have failed in that which you’re trying to achieve right now but guess what, that’s not the end of the world. And like my friend Aaliyah once said, “If at first you don’t succeed, you better dust it off and try again..” so learn and dust yourself up and keep it moving.
At one point of writing this, I was tempted to give an example of the people who failed and came back up and are now successful (s/o to Steve Jobs and Bill Gates and Paulo Coelho to mention buy a few) But since it’s not important right now, I will let it go.
I am not saying that you shouldn’t be inspired by someone else’s story, but all I’m saying is we all fail differently and we come back up differently so don’t compare your struggles with anybody else’s.
With all that’s said..
My point!
Every failure brings you closer to success. It honestly doesn’t matter how many times you fall. How your get up! That’s where all the lessons and the adaptations are.
So, Fail Early! Fail Forward! Fail Often!
Think about it!!
